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negotiating agreement without giving in

What is Reaching a Negotiating Agreement – Without Giving In?

Can you reach a negotiating agreement without giving in to unrealistic demands?

No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the English language. For many people, it is 
also the hardest to say. Saying no the right way is possibly the single most valuable skill in negotiation. But to reach a negotiating agreement, without giving in to demands that may compromise your goals or principles, it is an essential concept.

Many negotiators feel they have to choose between either waging a strictly competitive, win-lose negotiation battle or caving in to avoid conflict.

Instead, bargainers can and should look for negotiation strategies that can help both sides get more of what they want. By listening closely to each other, treating each other fairly, and jointly exploring options to increase value, negotiators can find ways of attaining a negotiating agreement without giving in to the need to rely on hard-bargaining tactics and unnecessary concessions.

Even so, you may still find yourself in hard-bargaining situations. You may find yourself with a need to say no – to your counterpart or to yourself – while working toward a negotiating agreement without giving in to unproductive reactions.

What does this look like?

Challenging the assumption that you can either use power to get what you want (at the expense of the relationship) or use the relationship (at the expense of the power), a “positive no” calls on you to use both at the same time, engaging the other in a constructive and respectful confrontation.

And for saying no to yourself? Our focus on our own problems and concerns often prevents us from putting ourselves in our counterpart’s shoes. So put yourself in your own shoes first—that is, to listen to yourself first, identify your deepest needs, and think about how they can be met.

Find out how to build powerful negotiation skills and reach a negotiating agreement without giving in. Download our FREE special report,Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Strategies and Negotiation Techniques to Help You Become a Better Negotiator, from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.

 

The following items are tagged negotiating agreement without giving in:

Six Guidelines for “Getting to Yes”

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

In their revolutionary book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011), Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton introduced the world to the possibilities of mutual-gains negotiation, or integrative negotiation. The authors of Getting to Yes explained that negotiators don’t have to choose between either waging a strictly competitive, win-lose … Read Six Guidelines for “Getting to Yes”

Negotiation Workshop: Improving Your Negotiating Effectiveness

Posted by & filed under Harvard Negotiation Institute, Harvard Negotiation Institute (Five-Day Programs).

Course Dates: This course is closed Too many negotiators leave value on the table. They painfully divide a small pie after a costly battle while failing to capture offsetting opportunities for joint gain, or win the battle, but at the cost to relationships and reputation that limit long-term value. Reliably negotiating optimal outcomes requires a keen … Read More

Negotiating Difficult Conversations: Dealing with Tough Topics Productively

Posted by & filed under Harvard Negotiation Institute, Harvard Negotiation Institute (Five-Day Programs).

Course Dates: This course is closed When negotiations become difficult, emotions often escalate and talks break down. To overcome barriers and turn negotiations from difficult to collaborative, from breakdown to breakthrough, you must learn to understand the inter- and intra-personal dynamics at play. In this program, you will examine how your own assumptions and behaviors can … Read More

Using Principled Negotiation to Resolve Disagreements

Posted by & filed under Dispute Resolution.

Parties can often reach a better agreement through integrative negotiation—that is, by identifying interests where they have different preferences and making tradeoffs among them. If you care more about what movie you see tonight, but your friend cares more about where you have dinner, for example, you can each get your preference on the issue … Read More

What is a Win-Win Negotiation?

Posted by & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.

In an episode of the American television show The Office, bumbling manager Michael Scott consults with a manual on conflict resolution while attempting to mediate a dispute between two of his subordinates, Angela and Oscar. After Scott explains that there are five approaches to resolving conflict, beginning with “win-lose,” an annoyed Angela interrupts: “Can we … Read What is a Win-Win Negotiation?

Take your BATNA to the Next Level

Posted by & filed under BATNA.

If your current negotiation reaches an impasse, what’s your best outside option? Most seasoned negotiators understand the value of evaluating their BATNA, or best alternative to a negotiated agreement, a concept that Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton introduced in their seminal book, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (Penguin, 1991, second … Read Take your BATNA to the Next Level

What is Negotiation?

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

Many people dread negotiation, not recognizing that they negotiate on a regular, even daily basis. Most of us face formal negotiations throughout our personal and professional lives: discussing the terms of a job offer with a recruiter, haggling over the price of a new car, hammering out a contract with a supplier. … Read What is Negotiation?

How to Find the ZOPA in Business Negotiations

Posted by & filed under Business Negotiations.

In business negotiation, two polar-opposite errors are common: reaching agreement when it wouldn’t be wise to do so, and walking away from a mutually beneficial outcome. How can you avoid these pitfalls? Through careful preparation that includes an analysis of the zone of possible agreement, or ZOPA in business negotiations. … Read How to Find the ZOPA in Business Negotiations

Principled Negotiation: Focus on Interests to Create Value

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

Inexperienced negotiators and even many experienced negotiators tend to assume they have a choice between two main strategies: negotiate in a tough, demanding manner or in a friendly, accommodating manner. In fact, there’s a better, third way of negotiating—one that doesn’t rely on toughness or accommodation, but that will improve your likelihood of meeting your … Read More

Learning from BATNA Examples in Negotiation

Posted by & filed under BATNA.

How should you decide whether to accept or reject your counterpart’s final offer in negotiation? In their influential book, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton advise comparing the deal to your BATNA, or best alternative to a negotiated agreement. If the offer is better than the best … Read Learning from BATNA Examples in Negotiation

5 Common Negotiation Mistakes and How You Can Avoid Them

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

Sometimes our negotiation mistakes are glaring: We accidentally reveal our bottom line, criticize the other party when patience was warranted, or get our numbers mixed up. More often, though, our negotiation mistakes are invisible: We get a perfectly good deal but are unaware that we could have gotten a better one if we hadn’t succumbed … Read More

Dear Negotiation Coach: Coordinating Teams to Get Everyone in the Same Frames

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Training.

Q: I lead a team of approximately 50 lawyers in the in-house legal department of a Fortune 500 company. As our team gets larger, reflecting the company’s growth, I’d like to install quality-control measures to ensure that all our attorneys are effectively negotiating settlements when appropriate and taking cases to trial when not. What are … Read More

Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement: Beyond the Basics

Posted by & filed under BATNA.

What is your greatest source of power in negotiation? In their landmark negotiation book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (Penguin, 1991), Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton write that it is often a strong BATNA, or best alternative to a negotiated agreement. Before and during their negotiations, wise negotiators determine their … Read More

Hong Kong Lawyer Benny Tai Inspired by Harvard Negotiation Project Authors

Posted by & filed under Teaching Negotiation.

The Harvard Negotiation Project was recently mentioned in the Wall Street Journal by David Feith in his interview with Benny Tai, “China’s New Freedom Fighters.” Benny Tai, a 49 year old lawyer who has been branded an “enemy of the state,” founded Occupy Central with Love and Peace, a group that promotes civil disobedience in order … Read More

Negotiators: Prepare to go with the flow

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

The deal started with an offhand remark at a news conference. In September, as President Barack Obama threatened U.S. military action against Syria, a reporter asked U.S. secretary of state John Kerry if there were any way an attack could be avoided. Syrian president Bashar al-Assad “could turn over every single bit of his chemical … Read Negotiators: Prepare to go with the flow

The Program on Negotiation Mourns the Loss of Co-Founder Roger Fisher

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

Roger Fisher, co-founder of the Program on Negotiation and the Harvard Negotiation Project, died on August 25 at age 90. A true pioneer and leader, he helped launch a new way of thinking about negotiation, and he worked tirelessly to help people deal productively with conflict. “Through his writing and teaching, Roger Fisher’s seminal contributions literally … Read More

PON Film Series presents “The Interrupters”

Posted by & filed under Conflict Resolution, Negotiation and Nonviolent Action, PON Film Series, Student Events.

The PON Film Series presents     “The Interrupters” followed by a post-screening discussion with William Ury, co-author of Getting to YES & Gary Slutkin, Executive Director of Chicago’s Ceasefire Date: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 Time: 6:30 PM Location: Ames Courtroom, Austin Hall, Harvard Law School Campus The Interrupters tells the moving and surprising stories of three Violence Interrupters who try to protect their Chicago … Read PON Film Series presents “The Interrupters”

Dr. Ury featured in Washington Post article on debt ceiling negotiations

Posted by & filed under Conflict Resolution.

In a recent article published in the Washington Post, Dr. William Ury, co-founder of the Program on Negotiation, suggests that Republicans and Democrats hammering out a deal on the national debt ceiling could benefit from the experience of negotiators. Professional negotiators know that certain tactics can backfire in tense situations.  Issuing ultimatums, publicly criticizing your counterpart, … Read More

Dealing With a Stubborn Counterpart

Posted by & filed under Daily, Negotiation Skills.

Adapted from “Stubborn or Irrational? How to Cope with a Difficult Negotiating Partner,” by Lawrence Susskind (professor, Massachusetts Institute of Technology), first published in the Negotiation newsletter. Suppose you’re an experienced salesperson entering into negotiations for a contract renewal with a company you’ve successfully done business with for years. Recently, your counterpart at the other company … Read Dealing With a Stubborn Counterpart

Getting to No

Posted by & filed under Daily, Negotiation Skills.

Adapted from “When You Mean No, Say So!” first published in the Negotiation newsletter. Too often, we say yes when we shouldn’t. Wanting to be team players at work, we postpone a family vacation. Or we pitch in on a community project when we have no time for it. In the short term, we please whoever … Read Getting to No