Nonverbal behavior—such as eye contact, gestures, posture, and facial expressions—can be remarkably effective in breaking down barriers and establishing rapport. Somewhat surprisingly, however, relatively little empirical research has focused specifically on body language in negotiation, write Jeff Thompson, Noam Ebner, and Jeff Giddings in The Negotiator’s Desk Reference.
What research does exist, along with abundant anecdotal evidence, suggests that nonverbal cues can go a long way toward building trust with new counterparts and repairing relationships that have gone off track. Let’s take a closer look at how body language influences negotiation—and where its power clearly has limits.
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Eye Contact: A Vanishing Art?
Eye contact is one of the most basic tools for building human connection, yet it’s increasingly underused in negotiation. Ideally, we should maintain eye contact for about 60% to 70% of conversation time, according to research by communications-analytics firm Quantified Communications. In practice, however, most adults hold eye contact only 30% to 60% of the time, based on the company’s analysis of thousands of speakers.
Our compulsive need to glance at smartphones—along with the rise of video-based and hybrid negotiations—likely contributes to this eye-contact deficit, as noted by Sue Shellenbarger in the Wall Street Journal.
When we avert our gaze, we risk appearing distracted, anxious, or unprepared. By contrast, meeting a counterpart’s eyes signals engagement and confidence. Pairing eye contact with other signs of active listening—such as nodding, responsive facial expressions, appropriate laughter, and leaning forward—encourages counterparts to keep talking and often reveals valuable information about their interests and priorities.
How much eye contact is enough? Holding someone’s gaze for about 7 to 10 seconds at a time works well in one-on-one conversations, communications trainer Ben Decker told the Journal. Longer than that, he cautioned, can feel aggressive—or simply uncomfortable.
Status and Body Language in Negotiation
Nonverbal cues also play a powerful role in signaling and managing status differences. In Face to Face: The Art of Human Connection, film and television producer Brian Grazer recounts chatting with then–U.S. President George W. Bush at a White House reception in 2005.
Rather than facing Grazer directly, Bush repeatedly repositioned himself to stand beside him, maintaining eye contact by turning his head. Grazer interpreted this as an intentional move to create a more egalitarian connection—despite the obvious power imbalance.
When negotiators become physically “in sync,” rapport tends to follow. People who feel engaged and comfortable often unconsciously mirror one another’s behaviors—matching posture, gestures, or even tone of voice. By contrast, deliberately maintaining distance (for example, sitting behind a desk) or avoiding mimicry can reinforce hierarchy and may inhibit connection.
Appearance and demeanor send status signals as well. A vivid example emerged during the Chicago Cubs’ 2019 search for a new team manager. Photos circulated of two leading candidates leaving their interviews days apart, and fans eagerly dissected the body language.
Former MLB player and New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi exited an eight-hour interview in a suit, pulling a roller briefcase and looking visibly exhausted alongside Cubs president Theo Epstein and general manager Jed Hoyer, who were dressed more casually.
By contrast, former Cubs catcher David Ross—known affectionately as “Grandpa Rossy”—was photographed smiling, wearing a zip-up sweater and Cubs-blue sunglasses, strolling to Starbucks with Epstein and Hoyer during a break in his shorter interview.
Which candidate got the job? Ross did.
The Limits of Body Language in Negotiation
As Face to Face makes clear, body language can open doors—but it cannot manufacture shared interests where none exist. Grazer describes his practice of arranging “curiosity conversations” with people from all walks of life, with no agenda beyond learning and connection.
One such attempt led him, improbably, to the Kremlin office of Russian press secretary Dmitry Peskov, after an intermediary falsely suggested Grazer wanted to make a celebratory film about Vladimir Putin. When Grazer explained that he simply wanted an agenda-free conversation, the meeting ended abruptly.
“Our desires were completely incompatible,” Grazer concludes. No amount of eye contact, warmth, or persuasion could bridge the gap.
The lesson is a crucial one. Body language matters in negotiation—but it cannot substitute for a genuine zone of possible agreement. Without overlapping interests, even flawless nonverbal communication will fall flat.
Have you encountered situations where body language made—or failed to make—a difference in negotiation?
Claim your FREE copy: Negotiation Skills
Build powerful negotiation skills and become a better dealmaker and leader. Download our FREE special report, Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Strategies and Negotiation Techniques to Help You Become a Better Negotiator, from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.
