Executives rarely think of themselves as diplomats engaged in international statecraft. Yet business negotiators and diplomats rely on many of the same negotiation skills and techniques. Diplomacy often conjures images of glamorous postings and embassy receptions, while business negotiations seem grounded in hard numbers and competitive pressures. After all, ambassadors don’t have quarterly earnings to hit or rivals chasing the same deal.
Still, dismissing diplomacy as irrelevant to business would be a mistake. Diplomacy, at its core, is the art of creating and managing relationships among nations. Negotiation, likewise, is about forging relationships through agreements. Business negotiators, whether they realize it or not, are also in the business of creating and managing relationships—among companies, partners, suppliers, and customers.
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Unfortunately, many negotiators don’t see it that way. While researching his book The Global Negotiator: Making, Managing, and Mending Deals Around the World in the Twenty-First Century, Jes Salacuse asked negotiators in 12 countries whether their primary goal was reaching an agreement or building a relationship. More than half of the American respondents said their objective was simply to land the contract. That mindset helps explain why many deals—no matter how carefully drafted—end in arbitration, lawsuits, or strained business separations.
Negotiation Lessons from International Diplomacy
As business becomes ever more global, negotiators must work harder to build and sustain long-term relationships. In doing so, executives confront many of the same challenges diplomats have faced for centuries.
Where can business leaders turn for guidance?
One surprising source comes from the French diplomat François de Callières, who served in the court of Louis XIV. Nearly 300 years ago, he wrote one of the first practical manuals of modern diplomacy, On the Manner of Negotiating with Princes (1716). The book remains strikingly relevant, offering practical lessons negotiators can still apply today.
Here are six diplomatic principles that can strengthen modern business negotiations and partnerships.
1. Great Negotiators Understand Negotiation Never Really Ends
De Callières emphasized the “necessity of continual negotiation” among states, encouraging permanent diplomatic representation to maintain dialogue. Business relationships function the same way.
Negotiation doesn’t end when the contract is signed. A contract is simply words on paper; the real substance of any deal is the relationship behind it. As one German manager put it, a contract describes a relationship only imperfectly—just as a map describes a country imperfectly.
Any long-term business arrangement becomes a continuing negotiation as circumstances change. Markets shift, technologies evolve, and unexpected events arise. If negotiators focus solely on the contract and neglect the relationship, conflicts and missed opportunities follow.
Smart negotiators stay involved after agreements are signed. They establish regular review meetings and mechanisms for adjusting agreements as conditions evolve. Relationships, like treaties, require maintenance.
2. Great Negotiators Seek to Harmonize Interests
De Callières wrote that the secret of negotiation lies in harmonizing interests. Effective diplomats—and effective business negotiators—strive to understand what truly matters to the other side.
Rather than immediately pushing one’s own demands, negotiators benefit from asking: What is driving the other party’s position?
The 1978 Camp David negotiations illustrate this principle well. Egypt demanded full return of the Sinai Peninsula while Israel insisted on maintaining territory for security reasons. Through mediation, negotiators realized Israel’s core concern was security, not land. Once interests were clarified, solutions addressing both sides became possible.
Even seemingly irreconcilable positions often mask compatible interests.
3. Great Negotiators Have the Patience of a Clockmaker
Diplomacy teaches patience. Building durable agreements takes time—often more than participants initially expect.
American executives, in particular, sometimes rush negotiations under the belief that efficiency saves money. But reducing personal interaction and preliminary discussions can undermine long-term relationships.
Investing time upfront prevents costly renegotiations and disputes later. Deals assembled hastily often collapse under pressure.
De Callières compared negotiators to clockmakers repairing delicate machinery: patient, methodical, and persistent. Negotiators who slow down enough to build trust and understanding often avoid expensive conflict later.
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4. Great Negotiators Prepare Relentlessly
De Callières repeatedly stressed preparation. Diplomats were expected to study everything about the nations, leaders, and cultures they encountered.
Business negotiators benefit from the same discipline. Too often negotiators walk into meetings thinking they’ll “see what happens.” That approach resembles a general deciding battlefield strategy only after combat begins.
Preparation should include:
- Researching organizations and decision-makers
- Understanding cultural and industry differences
- Clarifying your own organization’s priorities and constraints
- Anticipating possible objections and opportunities
Flexibility matters, but preparation creates the foundation for successful flexibility.
5. Great Negotiators Listen More Than They Speak
Negotiation is often mistaken for persuasive talking. In reality, listening is the negotiator’s most powerful tool.
As de Callières observed, negotiators must listen more than they speak. Successful negotiation requires careful attention not only to what others say but also to how words and actions are received.
Imagine monitoring three perspectives simultaneously:
- The words and actions of the other side
- Your own words and actions
- How your behavior affects the other party
Like a director monitoring multiple camera feeds, negotiators must constantly evaluate these perspectives before responding.
Understanding interests—and ultimately harmonizing them—begins with listening.
6. Show Respect at All Times
Respect remains central to diplomacy, and it is equally essential in business negotiation. De Callières advised negotiators to demonstrate respect for customs, institutions, and individuals.
Modern negotiations still collapse when parties ignore these principles. A notable example occurred in 2001 when General Electric sought approval from the European Commission to acquire Honeywell. GE executives treated the process as a routine business matter, while European officials viewed it as a public regulatory decision. Early informality and perceived disrespect contributed to tensions that helped derail the deal.
By contrast, when Northwest Airlines negotiated an alliance with KLM in the early 1990s, Northwest carefully structured meetings to emphasize equality between partners. Even small details—from meeting protocols to delegation structures—signaled respect and partnership.
Symbols matter. Rituals matter. Respect matters.
Diplomacy Lessons for Business Negotiators
Diplomatic principles have guided nations through seemingly impossible conflicts. They offer equally valuable lessons for executives negotiating partnerships, alliances, and long-term commercial relationships.
Business negotiators who think beyond contracts—who invest in relationships, listen carefully, prepare thoroughly, exercise patience, and show respect—build deals that endure.
What lessons have you learned from successful negotiators in your own career? Share your story in the comments.
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Adapted from “The Art of Deal Diplomacy” by Jeswald Salacuse for the March 2004 issue of the Negotiation newsletter.
Originally re-published in 2013.
Section 6 (Show Respect) is particularly apt, but respect is not always reciprocated, perhaps depending on the self-importance of the person to whom the respect is directed in the first place.
I had a law professor who said that, when she’s in court, she always wants to be “most reasonable person in the room.” When I approach contract negotiations and relationships (business or personal) in general, I always keep that in mind. Not only does the goal of being the most reasonable person in the room reduce the chance of conflict, it makes it more likely that I will get agreement on the terms from which I just can’t budge (they’ll have seen my flexibility on other terms and believe me when I say a specific provision is a “must have”). The fact that the positions I take would be defensible, if I ever had to defend them, adds to their persuasiveness. Also, it makes me very clear about the facts that need to be communicated, as the reasonability of my position may not be obvious to those who don’t have knowledge of those facts. “For greater clarification” is a very powerful phrase.
As Co-editor of Callieres classic The Art of Diplomacy(1983)I too was looking for more penetration into the fabric -the essence-of what diplomacy is all about, applied to civic /interpersonal affairs.
Wow wonderful but i was looking for the art of diplomacy.