Negotiators often face a choice between two seemingly incompatible approaches:
- Should you cooperate to create value?
- Or compete aggressively to claim it?
This tension—known as the negotiator’s dilemma—lies at the heart of nearly every important deal.
Consider two contrasting public statements about negotiation.
Following the 2018 trade agreement among Canada, Mexico, and the United States, then–Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto described the outcome as a “win-win-win deal.”
By contrast, on July 1, 2019, U.S. president Donald Trump said renewed trade negotiations with China would need to result in “a deal that is somewhat tilted to our advantage.”
One statement frames negotiation as collaborative.
The other frames it as competitive.
Who’s right?
According to negotiation scholars David A. Lax and James K. Sebenius in The Manager as Negotiator, both perspectives are incomplete.
Value creation and value claiming are inseparable parts of negotiation. Focus only on cooperation, and you may leave value on the table. Focus only on claiming, and you may destroy opportunities to create additional gains.
The real challenge is doing both well.
Understanding the Negotiator’s Dilemma
The negotiator’s dilemma describes the tension between:
- Sharing information to create joint gains
- Guarding information to avoid exploitation
If you openly share your interests, your counterpart may take advantage of you.
If you conceal them, you may miss tradeoffs and stall the negotiation.
For most negotiators, balancing cooperation and competition does not come naturally.
Fortunately, research identifies several strategies that help mitigate this tension. One of the most powerful is making multiple equivalent simultaneous offers, or MESOs.
What Are Multiple Equivalent Simultaneous Offers (MESOs)?
A MESO strategy involves presenting two or more package offers at the same time—offers that you value equally but that vary across issues.
Instead of saying:
“Here’s my offer.”
You say:
“Here are three packages. I value them equally. Which works best for you?”
This approach allows you to:
- Anchor the negotiation
- Signal flexibility
- Gather information
- Encourage reciprocity
- Reduce defensive reactions
Why First Offers Often Trigger Competition
First offers strongly influence negotiations through anchoring effects. Even extreme first offers tend to pull counteroffers in their direction.
But a single first offer can also:
- Trigger suspicion
- Encourage aggressive counteroffers
- Push the negotiation into distributive (win-lose) mode
- Stall value creation
University of Toronto professor Geoffrey J. Leonardelli and colleagues found that offering multiple equivalent simultaneous offers reduces these negative effects.
MESO Negotiation in Practice: A Hiring Example
Imagine a hiring manager negotiating with a prized candidate. Three issues are on the table:
- Salary
- Telecommuting flexibility
- Contract duration
The manager’s top priority is limiting telecommuting days. She values the following three packages equally:
Package A
$100,000 salary
1 remote day per week
3-year contract
Package B
$95,000 salary
1 remote day per week
2-year contract
Package C
$90,000 salary
2 remote days per week
1-year contract
Each package protects her core interest (limiting remote work). But the variation across salary and contract length provides insight into the candidate’s priorities.
If the candidate selects Package B but pushes for higher pay, the manager learns that salary—not contract duration—is the primary concern.
This information enables more efficient bargaining.
Why Do MESOs Work?
Leonardelli’s research found that negotiators who made multiple equivalent simultaneous offers:
- Achieved better economic outcomes
- Were perceived as more cooperative
- Received less aggressive counteroffers
Recipients of MESOs believed the offerer was trying to accommodate their interests.
As a result:
- Counteroffers were less extreme
- Discussions were more constructive
- Agreements were more likely
Interestingly, MESOs were especially effective when initial offers were extreme. Rather than triggering hostility, the presence of options softened defensive reactions.
However, recipients should be aware of one caution:
MESOs can anchor just as powerfully as single offers—sometimes more so.
How Many MESOs Should You Present?
Research suggests that offering two or three packages works well.
Too many options can create “choice overload,” overwhelming your counterpart and undermining the benefits of the strategy.
The goal is clarity—not confusion.
3 Additional Strategies for Managing the Negotiator’s Dilemma
MESOs are powerful—but not the only solution.
- Use a Neutral Third Party
A mediator can facilitate information exchange while protecting against exploitation.
Scholars such as Stephen Goldberg note that mediators can:
- Filter sensitive information
- Reframe proposals
- Reduce opportunistic behavior
A neutral can help parties create value safely.
- Try a Single Negotiating Text
In complex multiparty negotiations, facilitators sometimes circulate a draft agreement and invite revisions.
This “single negotiating text” approach:
- Reduces positional posturing
- Encourages collaborative editing
- Prevents early commitment to concessions
It was used effectively in large-scale international negotiations, including climate agreements.
- Propose a Post-Settlement Settlement
After reaching agreement, you might ask:
“Can we improve this deal for both of us?”
Negotiation scholar Howard Raiffa called this a post-settlement settlement. Because parties already have an acceptable deal, competition decreases and creativity increases.
Deepak Malhotra and Max Bazerman recommend this technique as a way to uncover additional value without risking the original agreement.
The Bottom Line on MESO Negotiation
The negotiator’s dilemma is real.
Create too much value without claiming it, and you lose.
Claim too aggressively, and you destroy opportunity.
Multiple equivalent simultaneous offers allow you to do both.
They:
- Anchor the negotiation
- Demonstrate flexibility
- Reveal counterpart priorities
- Reduce defensive reactions
- Improve both economic and relational outcomes
In short, MESOs help you compete constructively.
