Inside Out How Conflict Professionals Can Use Self-Reflection to Help Their Clients

Gary Friedman

Designed to help people who work with parties in conflict use their inner experiences for the benefit of their clients, this book challenges many of the conventions conflict-resolution professionals bring to this field. Rooted in self-awareness, this practical guide encourages us to work from the "inside out".

This product is available for purchase at Please click on the button to the left to be redirected to Amazon’s website. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of, Inc. or its affiliates.

With this insightful new book, author Gary Friedman presents fresh ideas which encourages negotiators to access their internal selves while creating a more constructive process for parties embroiled in conflict. This practical guide directs the reader to pay attention to emotional clues – which can unearth unacknowledged feelings, concerns, and priorities – that can be central to resolving the conflict if they are understood their importance communicated. Combining external dimensions with the internal world (attitudes, relationships, feelings) a conflict-resolution professional can determine the best course of action for all parties involved.

Inside Out is based on a program that Gary Friedman, Jack Himmelstein (a law professor and lawyer) and Norman Fischer (a Buddhist monk) have been teaching for a number of years. It encourages conflict-resolution professionals to concentrate on self-reflection in order to commit more fully and deeply when working with parties. By acknowledging and using self-awareness you can work from the "Inside Out".

Whether you are a professional negotiator, litigator, mediator, or lawyer – this book is a must-have resource for your practice and for your client's success.

“Inside-Out is must reading not only for all mediators but for judges and lawyers. Why? Because we must all deal with conflict in our professional lives. This book explains why we must develop greater insights into our own inner conflicts — through self-reflection — in order to help develop solutions that will be practical and durable. Filled with wonderful stories and examples, this book is not only helpful but a pleasure to read.”
Robert H. Mnookin, Williston Professor of Law; Director, Harvard Negotiation
Research Project; Chair, Program on Negotiation, Harvard Law School

“In this thoroughly lively book, Gary Friedman distills the wisdom of a lifetime of experience developing humanizing approaches to resolving conflicts — and healing conflict resolution professionals themselves in the process. Here, now, Friedman provides the essentials to help anyone use meditation, journal writing, and a focus on your inner observer to develop emotionally intelligent ways of resolving conflict that actually transform, heal, and have the look-and-feel of justice. If you want to help people resolve conflicts in ways that make everyone involved (including yourself!) just a bit better, read this book and work these practices. You might well become a part of the transformation of American law in our lives that this book proves has already begun.”
Rhonda V. Magee, Professor of Law, University of San Francisco

“In this wise and engaging book, Gary Friedman draws on his decades of experience as a mediator to describe a process, grounded in meditative awareness, by which mediators can look inward and engage their full resources—analysis, emotional intelligence, and self-reflection—to heighten their effectiveness in facilitating the resolution of disputes. These techniques closely parallel and illuminate the meditative perspective being explored by lawyers, law students, and judges to be more effective, empathetic, and satisfied in their law work. The practice of meditative self-reflection prescribed by Friedman could restore wisdom to the central place it should occupy in the work of lawyers and judges.”
Charles Halpern, founder and director, Berkeley Initiative for Mindfulness in Law, University of California at Berkeley School of Law

Gary Friedman is author of Challenging Conflict: Mediation Through Understanding which also has a video component called Saving The Last Dance. Both are available to order through the TNRC.

Inside Out Attributes

Author: Gary Friedman
Publisher: American Bar Association (2014)