Some of the most essential skills negotiators can develop include strong bargaining skills and effective tactics for building trust at the table. These capabilities not only help parties exchange offers more productively, but also create the foundation for open communication, collaborative problem-solving, and agreements that are more likely to endure.
Consider these three negotiation scenarios:
A. Jon, a travel writer, searches online for someone to translate his book on the Pacific Northwest for Spanish readers.
After reviewing résumés, he hires the translator who seems most friendly and competent. The first chapters are excellent—but then deadlines slip, calls go unanswered, and Jon is left scrambling. He later wonders how he could have better vetted his options.
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B. Carol’s longtime doctor diagnoses her with a serious illness and urges immediate aggressive treatment.
Carol would like a second opinion but worries about offending a physician she trusts. She proceeds with treatment but remains uncertain whether it was necessary.
C. A fine-dining restaurant owner struggles during an economic downturn.
Because she has a friendly relationship with her produce supplier, Alan, she occasionally pays late. One day, Alan abruptly cuts off deliveries, furious that erratic payments are threatening his own business.
In each case, trust lies at the heart of the negotiation problem. Jon trusted too quickly. Carol trusted without seeking confirmation. Alan lost trust after repeated disappointments.
Most negotiators begin talks hoping for cooperation and fairness. Yet many negotiations devolve into guarded behavior, suspicion, and withheld information. Sometimes we even make concessions simply to avoid appearing distrustful.
So how can negotiators build trust from the start—or repair trust once it falters?
Below, we present five guidelines negotiators can use to build and sustain mutual trust at the bargaining table.
Quick Answer: How Do You Build Trust in Negotiation?
Negotiators build trust by:
- Choosing partners carefully,
- Building rapport before bargaining,
- Setting realistic expectations about trust,
- Demonstrating reliability and transparency,
- Listening carefully and showing fairness.
Trust grows through consistent behavior, not good intentions alone.
Trust-Building Strategy #1: Make Smart Use of Your Network
One way to make negotiations feel safer is to choose negotiating partners carefully when possible.
Referrals from trusted colleagues often provide reliable leads. Shared connections also encourage better behavior on both sides, as parties feel accountable within the network.
However, referrals should not replace due diligence. Promising opportunities often lie outside one’s immediate network.
When dealing with unfamiliar parties:
- Check references independently,
- Verify claims and credentials,
- Ask prior partners about reliability and follow-through.
Jon, the travel writer, relied too heavily on résumés and personal impressions and failed to thoroughly check references—a mistake that cost him later.
Trust-Building Strategy #2: Build Rapport Before Negotiating
Research shows people tend to mirror the behavior they receive. Cooperation often generates cooperation; defensiveness triggers defensiveness.
Negotiation scholar Keith Allred describes how negotiations can spiral into either virtuous or vicious cycles depending on early interactions.
Taking time to build rapport helps create the virtuous version.
This doesn’t require elaborate socializing. Even brief personal conversation helps. In one study, Northwestern professor Janice Nadler found negotiators who spent just five minutes chatting on the phone before negotiating later shared more information and trusted one another more.
A quick coffee, short phone call, or informal conversation can dramatically improve negotiation tone and results.
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Trust-Building Strategy #3: Set an Appropriate Trust Default
Even after vetting a counterpart and building rapport, blind trust can backfire.
Negotiators sometimes assume mutual goodwill, only to feel betrayed when misunderstandings arise. Often, no one intended harm—conflicts of interest and cognitive biases simply lead parties to interpret events differently.
Researchers Iris Bohnet and Stephan Meier suggest negotiators set a realistic trust baseline from the start.
You might explain:
- You prefer to build trust gradually,
- Documentation helps avoid confusion,
- Transparency protects both sides.
Carol, for example, could have told her doctor early on that she values second opinions as part of her healthcare decisions. Doing so normalizes the practice rather than signaling distrust later.
A cautious trust default helps prevent misunderstandings from escalating.
Trust-Building Strategy #4: Actively Earn Their Trust
Gaining a counterpart’s trust is just as important as deciding how much to trust them.
Preparation matters. Researching your counterpart’s business, terminology, and concerns shows professionalism and respect.
Professor Deepak Malhotra recounts how consultants lost credibility with airline executives simply because they didn’t know industry terminology. A small oversight undermined trust.
Another overlooked trust-builder: clearly labeling concessions.
Negotiators often fail to explain what concessions cost them. As a result, counterparts undervalue those concessions and fail to reciprocate.
When making meaningful concessions:
- Explain the sacrifice involved,
- Clarify limits,
- Signal goodwill clearly.
In scenario C, Alan might have explained earlier that accepting delayed payments strained his own obligations and could only happen occasionally. Clear communication might have prevented relationship breakdown.
Trust-Building Strategy #5: Listen and Show Fairness
Research shows negotiators’ satisfaction depends heavily on whether they feel treated fairly, sometimes more than on outcomes themselves.
To reinforce fairness:
- Avoid bragging about gains,
- Acknowledge the other side’s contributions,
- Explain decisions transparently.
Power imbalances make this especially important. When one side has more options or authority, small gestures of fairness matter even more.
Comparisons also matter. People judge fairness relative to peers and competitors. If raises or contract terms are smaller than usual, explain the broader context.
Finally, give counterparts time to express concerns—even frustration. Listening carefully not only provides valuable information but also helps the other side feel respected and heard.
Feeling heard often leads to greater trust and cooperation.
Trust rarely emerges automatically in negotiation. It is built through careful partner selection, rapport-building, realistic expectations, transparent communication, and respectful listening.
What’s your go-to method for building trust in negotiation?
Related Dealmaking Article: Coping with Culture at the Bargaining Table
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Adapted from “How to Build Trust at the Bargaining Table,” first published in the January 2009 issue of Negotiation.
Originally published in 2014.
Generally, I find that when we make it clear that we are interested and concerned that out counterpart is satisfied and if not satisfied, that we are keenly interested in understanding their position, it makes for a longer lasting impression that they are cared about and valued. This is a good investment into the future where this person will remember you for these qualities and this will pay dividends as you will be regarded as a trusted person down the road. There are many secondary benefits to this as well.