Adapted from “Should You Do Business with the Enemy?” first published in the Negotiation newsletter, March 2010.
At one time or another, most of us have faced the prospect of negotiating with a sworn enemy—whether a “greedy” sibling, an “evil” ex-spouse, or an “immoral” company. There is no right or wrong answer to the question of whether to negotiate with a person or group you consider to be your enemy. In general, however, most people decide too hastily to walk away from such talks or to turn their dispute over to the courts, writes Program on Negotiation Chair Robert Mnookin in his book Bargaining with the Devil: When to Negotiate, When to Fight (Simon & Schuster, 2010). Our emotions cause us to err on the side of not negotiating.
These four guidelines offer a brief overview of Mnookin’s advice on whether to negotiate with an enemy:
1. Analyze. Systematically compare the expected costs and benefits of negotiating.
2. Ask for help. Because you can’t avoid being biased, ask a trusted adviser to help you analyze your alternatives.
3. When in doubt, negotiate. If your careful analysis leaves you feeling torn, proceed with the negotiation. A presumption in favor of negotiation will help you avoid negative emotional traps, such as the tendency to demonize one’s counterpart.
4. Take responsibility. Whenever you are representing others (such as your organization or your family) in a negotiation, it would be a mistake to allow your personal values to override a rational analysis in favor of negotiation.
Robert H. Mnookin is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law at Harvard Law School, and Chair of the PON Executive Committee. He teaches in the three-day Program on Negotiation for Senior Executives, and will offer a one-day Author Session on Bargaining with the Devil on June 21, 2012. Visit our Courses and Training page for more information.
I love you article titled, “Should you deal with the devil”- I train real estate agents all across the country and we we discuss negotiation, we often fail to take the time to even assess if we should do business with the seller of a property. Questions like: what kind of person is this? Are they ethical, moral? Is there a way we can win? Of course there is also the “convincing” the buyer of the benefits of paying a fair price, which can be even more difficult than dealing with the sellers. The article made me think more about evaluating the seller prior to deciding to even begin the offer process.
Author- “Just Shut Up and Buy the House”
National Real Estate Sales Trainer
Bob Mnookin’s book was very useful, and I wrote a more full length review about how it illuminated some important issues in franchising.