Do you negotiate via text message?
If you’re early in your career, there’s a good chance you could easily scroll through message threads full of discussions about issues, offers, and compromises. If you’re a bit further along, you might instinctively answer no. And yet, a closer look at the saved messages on your smartphone may tell a different story.
You may have recently negotiated the division of chores with a family member, texted with a stranger about the sale of a used car or other item, or messaged a colleague about swapping shifts, deadlines, or responsibilities.
Whether or not we like it, texting has become an increasingly common tool in business communications and negotiation. In a chapter in the book The Negotiator’s Desk Reference, Vol. 2 (DRI Press, 2017), Creighton University professor Noam Ebner encourages the skeptical to view texting not as a sign of society’s decreased formality and civility but as one more tool we can use to improve the efficiency and outcomes of our negotiations.
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The hidden richness when you negotiate via text
A relatively young communication mode, texting traces its roots to instant-messaging programs and chat rooms of the mid-1990s before migrating from computers to mobile phones in the early 2000s. Today, in addition to SMS (short message service), many people routinely negotiate through private messaging on platforms such as Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), LinkedIn, and a growing array of workplace collaboration tools.
In regions where cellular service is limited or unreliable, Internet-based messaging apps such as WhatsApp and similar platforms have increasingly replaced SMS as the dominant form of text-based communication, Ebner notes.
The ability of texting to connect people across distances at virtually any moment has made it ubiquitous in personal life and, increasingly, in business. That said, it comes with notable drawbacks. Like email, texts lack the rich visual and vocal cues that in-person meetings, phone calls, and video conferences provide. Without tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language, negotiators may struggle to build rapport, and misunderstandings or frustration can arise more easily.
Texts also lack some of the formatting tools that make longer written communication clearer—such as headings, bullet points, and emphasis—although emojis, GIFs, voice notes, and images now offer partial substitutes. Even so, texting remains an informal medium. The small screen, the ease of rapid replies, and the risk of typos encourage short, stripped-down messages that often omit greetings and sign-offs. To some, this brevity can feel abrupt or even rude.
Given these limitations, texting might seem like an unpromising means of negotiating. Yet it also offers real advantages.
Texting allows negotiators to communicate instantly about logistics, ideas, or offers at times when a phone call would be disruptive or impractical. People who are shy or conflict-averse may find it easier to assert themselves in writing than face-to-face. And younger negotiators—who tend to text frequently—often report feeling more comfortable expressing emotions via text than through other media, according to research by Jennifer Crosswhite of the National Council on Family Relations and her colleagues.
Another advantage of texting is its flexibility of pace. A text exchange can unfold rapidly, like a phone conversation, or slowly, with time to think between messages. Ebner points to research suggesting that “fast talkers”—negotiators who think quickly and come prepared with well-developed arguments—often do well eliciting concessions via text. By contrast, those who prefer reflection can deliberately slow the pace by delaying responses and planning their next move.
How to negotiate via text
For most business negotiations, it’s usually wise to begin with at least one face-to-face meeting. When that isn’t possible, starting with phone or video conversations can help establish rapport and shared understanding before shifting to text.
If and when you decide to negotiate via text, the following three guidelines from Ebner can help you do so more effectively.
- 1. Proofread your messages. One of texting’s greatest strengths—speed—is also one of its biggest hazards. Misspellings, typos, and autocorrect errors are common. Ebner recounts a moment when his phone replaced the negotiation term BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) with BANTHA, the woolly mammoth–like creature from Star Wars. “My suggestion that we share these with each other received the electronic equivalent of a raised eyebrow,” he writes. Before hitting “send,” review every message carefully and double-check that it’s going to the intended recipient.
- 2. Don’t take offense. Many people—especially those over 30—find the informality of texting jarring. Abbreviations (LOL, BRB, SMH), emojis, slang, and incomplete sentences can trigger concerns about professionalism. Ebner’s advice is blunt: “Get over it.” Norms about appropriate communication are shaped by culture and experience, and not long ago many professionals were equally uneasy about negotiating by email. If texting conventions bother you, raise the issue directly or suggest switching to email or phone. Above all, Ebner cautions, do not assume disrespect or unprofessionalism based solely on a counterpart’s texting style.
- 3. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Delays in response or messages that seem curt are common sources of irritation. Before jumping to conclusions, consider that your counterpart may be in a meeting, multitasking, or temporarily unable to respond. Because people tend to overinterpret silence—especially during exchanges of offers—Ebner recommends setting expectations upfront. For example, you might agree to let each other know when more time is needed to craft a thoughtful response. Doing so can reduce unnecessary suspicion and keep negotiations on track.
Do you negotiate via text? Has it ever gone awry? Please share your experience in the comments below.
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Negotiating with friends about an outing – absolutely yes. SMS, or – even better – using Signal or Viber where I can create a group, serve the purpose very well. Last-minute clarifications of business deals in advanced-stage negotiations carried so far using different means – yes. Starting the whole negotiation with a counterpart I don’t know – no, at least not yet, I feel I need to know them first. WhatsApp – avoid if privacy is important. I switched off the autocorrect feature and the word-completion feature based on few letters typed forever – they create just an extra work to kill all the nonsense they introduce. By the way, I am well in the “older generation” as defined in this article. If I can learn how to use it for good, you can as well.
Police Hostage & Crisis Negotiators frequently negotiate via text – With benefits and pitfalls identified above. It’s much more challenging to build rapport and understand nuances in conversation, particularly where participants are of different generations.