On May 19, 2013, internet company Yahoo announced it was purchasing the blogging service Tumblr for about $1.1 billion in cash. The acquisition was intended to put a fresh face on the aging Internet company and provide it with a profitable revenue source. But those plans didn’t play out: In August 2019, Tumblr was bought … Read More
Discover how to collaborate, negotiate, and bargain with even the most combative opponents with, Dealing with Difficult People, a FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.
difficult negotiations
What are Difficult Negotiations?
Often the most difficult negotiations we encounter are in our personal lives.
Some of the most difficult negotiations happen when a dispute occurs between family and friends, but it is possible to solve a conflict with negotiation skills. The same mutual gains and integrative negotiation techniques you use in business work in personal negotiations, as well.
By listening closely to the concerns and feelings expressed by a family member or friend, and understanding their perspective, one can begin to rebuild trust, a key component in any relationship.
In his book, Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate, Daniel Shapiro, Associate Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, emphasizes that understanding the other party’s key concerns is essential in difficult negotiations involving powerful emotions. When both parties understand these core concerns, emotions can become an asset rather than an obstacle. This is as true in personal negotiations as it is when dealing with high-stakes international conflict.
But how should you approach difficult negotiations with potential negotiating partners who are dishonest negotiators, or whom you don’t entirely trust—or should you deal with them at all?
There are several common deceptions you may come across in difficult negotiations such as this. Among them, an escalation of commitment.
You may find you’ve made a significant investment, such as considerable time or an up-front payment, before you’ve agreed on a deal. The other party may be aware that you (like most people) will be less willing to walk away and admit defeat after sinking resources into the negotiation. When faced with such a bargaining strategy, remember that such “sunk costs” are gone forever—and that there’s no shame in walking away from a shady deal.
To find out more, you can download a complimentary copy of our special report, Dealing with Difficult People, right now!
The following items are tagged difficult negotiations:
Overcoming Resistance: The Influence Equation
Through breakout sessions, exercises, role plays, and other hands-on experiences, Carlebach will explain what to do when you encounter resistance. This session will introduce you to the Influence Equation—a simple, high-impact framework that will help you diagnose and overcome three major factors that fuel resistance in any given negotiation.
… Read Overcoming Resistance: The Influence Equation
Negotiation Master Class November 2024 Program Guide
Over the years thousands of professionals have participated in negotiation programs at the Program on Negotiation (PON) at Harvard Law School. And after a few months or years of putting their negotiation skills and techniques to work, participants inevitably ask us, what’s next?
… Read More
Trust and Honesty in Negotiations: Dealing with Dishonest Negotiators
Negotiating opportunities sometimes come from challenging sources: a family member who has been unreliable in the past but promises to make a change; a business competitor that approaches you about a joint venture; a difficult boss with whom you would like to work out a better relationship.
… Read More
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems THREE-DAY PROGRAM | June 9–11, 2025
Our program will feature:
Role plays and negotiation exercises—You’ll have the opportunity to test what you learn by taking part in realistic negotiations with your fellow participants.
One-on-one interaction with top faculty—You’ll have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with negotiation experts from Harvard, and … Read More
Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Strategies and Negotiation Techniques to Help You Become a Better Negotiator
Students who master business negotiation become better leaders. But it starts with building the right skills. And that’s where our latest free report comes in. In Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Strategies and Negotiation Techniques to Help You Become a Better Negotiator, you’ll learn:
… Read More
BATNA and Other Sources of Power at the Negotiation Table
BATNA negotiations involve a negotiators knowledge of her best alternatives to a negotiated agreement and are one of three sources of negotiating power at the bargaining table, according to negotiation researcher Adam D. Galinsky and New York University’s Joe C. Magee.
… Read More
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems THREE-DAY PROGRAM | May 12–14, 2025
Our program will feature:
Role plays and negotiation exercises—You’ll have the opportunity to test what you learn by taking part in realistic negotiations with your fellow participants.
One-on-one interaction with top faculty—You’ll have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with negotiation experts from Harvard, and … Read More
10 Real-World Negotiation Examples
Real-world negotiation examples can help us learn from the past and avoid repeating others’ mistakes. Here’s a recap of 10 real-world negotiation examples across government and industry that provide negotiation lessons for all business negotiators.
… Read 10 Real-World Negotiation Examples
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems THREE-DAY PROGRAM | April 7–9, 2025
Our program will feature:
Role plays and negotiation exercises—You’ll have the opportunity to test what you learn by taking part in realistic negotiations with your fellow participants.
One-on-one interaction with top faculty—You’ll have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with negotiation experts from Harvard, and … Read More
Negotiation with Your Children: How to Resolve Family Conflicts
Few negotiation examples in real life demonstrate the benefit of effective conflict resolution skills than those disputes that arise in the home, such as those between parents and children. Getting a good night’s sleep and eating a healthy dinner might seem like obvious goals for parents to have for their young children, but kids won’t … Read More
Harvard Negotiation Master Class: Advanced Strategies for Experienced Negotiators – November 18–20, 2024
Strictly limited to 60 participants who have completed a prior course in negotiation, this first-of-its-kind program offers unprecedented access to experts from Harvard Law School, MIT, and the Harvard Kennedy School—all of whom are committed to delivering a transformational learning experience.
… Read More
Dispute Resolution: Building Momentum through Small Wins
Sometimes disputes are left to fester for years, even decades, until parties decide there is something to be gained from reaching agreement. In 2015, the nations of Bangladesh and India seized on an opportunity to push the “restart” button on a contentious border disagreement through dispute resolution. Such international conflict resolution examples can illustrate how … Read More
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems THREE-DAY PROGRAM | December 2–4, 2024
Our program will feature:
Role plays and negotiation exercises—You’ll have the opportunity to test what you learn by taking part in realistic negotiations with your fellow participants.
One-on-one interaction with top faculty—You’ll have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with negotiation experts from Harvard, and … Read More
Repairing Relationships Using Negotiation Skills
Negotiation is not only something we do at work; often the toughest negotiations we encounter are in our personal lives. Some of the most successful negotiation examples of the power of negotiation skills in dispute resolution is when they repair relationships between friends.
… Read Repairing Relationships Using Negotiation Skills
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems THREE-DAY PROGRAM | October 21–23, 2024
Our program will feature:
Role plays and negotiation exercises—You’ll have the opportunity to test what you learn by taking part in realistic negotiations with your fellow participants.
One-on-one interaction with top faculty—You’ll have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with negotiation experts from Harvard, and … Read More
Dispute Resolution for India and Bangladesh
Sometimes in international negotiation, disputes are left to fester for years, even decades, until parties decide there is something to be gained from reaching agreement. In an example of a cross cultural negotiation case study, the nations of Bangladesh and India seized on an opportunity to push the “restart” button on their bumpy relationship by … Read Dispute Resolution for India and Bangladesh
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems
Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems THREE-DAY PROGRAM | September 23–25, 2024
Our program will feature:
Role plays and negotiation exercises—You’ll have the opportunity to test what you learn by taking part in realistic negotiations with your fellow participants.
One-on-one interaction with top faculty—You’ll have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with negotiation experts from Harvard, and … Read More
3 Keys to Effective Leadership in Difficult Negotiations
A medical facility might not be the first place you think of for effective leadership in a negotiation. But that’s precisely what took place between a doctor and his patients. At Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) in New York City, a leading cancer research and treatment institution, doctors often will advise men who are … Read More
Negotiating Difficult Conversations: Dealing with Tough Topics Productively
Course Dates: This course is closed
When negotiations become difficult, emotions often escalate and talks break down. To overcome barriers and turn negotiations from difficult to collaborative, from breakdown to breakthrough, you must learn to understand the inter- and intra-personal dynamics at play. In this program, you will examine how your own assumptions and behaviors can … Read More
Dear Negotiation Coach: Building Trust with Reluctant Counterparts
Tetsushi Okumura is a professor at the Tokyo University of Science and has been a visiting scholar at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management. His research articles have appeared in leading management and psychology journals, and he has translated into Japanese many popular books on negotiation. Recently, Okumura has been interviewing Japanese government negotiators to … Read More
Managing Difficult Negotiations: Lessons from the 2015-2017 Illinois Budget Impasse
On July 6, 2017, the state of Illinois finally resolved a 793-day budget impasse, the longest such impasse in U.S. history. The economically devastating stalemate between Republican then-governor Bruce Rauner and the Democratic-controlled state legislature, triggered by hardball negotiation tactics, offers lessons to negotiators managing difficult negotiations.
An Agenda and a Condition
As Illinois politicians approached negotiations … Read More
Dear Negotiation Coach: Can External Advisers Hinder a Problem Solving Approach?
There are numerous advantages to hearing from external advisers and experts in a high-stakes negotiation. However, when talks are at an impasse, limiting the negotiation to a small number of participants may be a more beneficial problem solving approach than including outside opinions.
This was at the heart of a recent question answered by Guhan Subramanian, … Read More
Negotiating Controversial Issues in Difficult Negotiations
When you’re trying to negotiate a hot-button issue in difficult negotiations, what’s the best approach to take? That was the question facing U.S. president Donald Trump as he and his administration attempted to convince the government of Mexico to fund a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border, in addition to negotiating other matters of concern to … Read More
Negotiation Case Study: Sincerity’s Power in Negotiation
Most of us have had the experience of delivering an apology that fell on deaf ears. When apologies fail to achieve their aims, poor delivery is usually to blame. The importance of sincerity in such a situation cannot be overstated, because if the recipient thinks your apology is less than sincere, she is unlikely to … Read More
Pope Francis and the Benefits of Servant Leadership in Negotiations
Progress on global climate change accords has been incremental at best and nonexistent at worst. As in any negotiation, it is important to get the issues right and make sure all the relevant parties are at the table, but this is often easier said than done. Good leadership can help you ensure that both happen, … Read More
Kissinger the Negotiator: New Book on Dealmaking and Diplomacy
Lessons from Dealmaking at the Highest Level
In this groundbreaking, definitive guide to the art of negotiation, PON faculty James Sebenius (Harvard Business School) and Robert Mnookin (Harvard Law School), along with R. Nicholas Burns of the Harvard Kennedy School, offer a comprehensive examination of one of the most successful dealmakers of all time: Henry Kissinger.
Politicians, … Read More
Managing Difficult Employees — Like Alex Rodriguez?
What negotiation strategies should employers use when dealing with difficult employees? Conflict management strategies and negotiation skills go hand in hand as this negotiation example about New York Yankees’ star baseball player Alex Rodriguez demonstrates.
… Read More
Negotiation and Leadership Skills: Jerry Brown Re-Frames a Deal at High Speed
Starting construction on an 800-mile rail network in the world’s 8th largest economy without the funds in place to finish the job may seem crazy, but in California Governor Jerry Brown’s case it was a calculated gamble by a seasoned leader intent on winning a long-term negotiation.
… Read More
Dealing with Difficult People – In and Outside of Congress
In business negotiations, we sometimes face the task of dealing with difficult people—those who seem to pick fights, hold offensive views, or rely on hard-bargaining tactics. Some of us naturally turn away from such difficult negotiations. Others choose to try to overlook or overcome the flaws they see in potential negotiating partners.
… Read More
Negotiating Advice for Congressional Democrats in the Era of Trump
In the aftermath of the 2016 election, with Republicans poised to control the White House and both houses of Congress, Democrats in Washington are struggling to determine how they will go about meeting their goals in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.
… Read More
Financial Negotiations During the Banking Crisis: Did the Mortgage Foreclosure Settlement Meet Its Goals?
The mortgage foreclosure settlement reached by the Obama Administration and major US banks bailed out during the 2008 financial crisis illustrates the importance of an integrative negotiations approach to bargaining with your counterpart. Here are the strategies and techniques employed by each side to reach a consensus on the mortgage foreclosure settlement.
… Read More
Working on multiple deals? Look for ways to connect the dots
In negotiation, lightbulb moments—the kind that seem to magically dissolve disputes and create stellar contracts—can be few and far between. We might be lucky to have one such flash of insight over the course of a complicated dealmaking process. Recently, Major League Baseball’s (MLB’s) New York Yankees were fortunate to experience a breakthrough that neatly … Read More
Tough Negotiation Tips from Jennifer Aniston?
Fans of the television show Friends got a treat last month when Netflix made all 236 episodes of the blockbuster hit available to stream online. At first glance actors Lisa Kudrow, Jennifer Aniston and the rest of the star-studded cast might not be your first pick to peg as formidable negotiators, but at the height … Read Tough Negotiation Tips from Jennifer Aniston?
Deal Making Without a Net: Yahoo’s Tumblr Acquisition
On May 19, Internet company Yahoo announced that it was purchasing the blogging service Tumblr for about $1.1 billion in cash. The acquisition could put a fresh face on the aging Internet company and provide it with a profitable revenue source—or it could turn out to be another instance of the Web pioneer overpaying for … Read More
Managing Internal Conflict: Russia’s Bid to Join the WTO
In June 1993, a little over a year after the fall of communist rule in Russia, President Boris Yeltsin submitted an application for Russia to join the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT), the precursor to the World Trade Organization (WTO). Eighteen years later, in November 2011, Russia finally was voted into the WTO, … Read More
Bring Back Your Deal from the Brink: Weigh the Benefits of a Concession
Another option for dealing with difficult negotiations is to craft what Harvard Law School professor Robert C. Bordone calls a “workaround” – a strategy for meeting your current goals without the involvement or support of your adversary. You might be able to induce a yes with a tempting concession on a key issue, according to … Read More
Dr. Ury featured in Washington Post article on debt ceiling negotiations
In a recent article published in the Washington Post, Dr. William Ury, co-founder of the Program on Negotiation, suggests that Republicans and Democrats hammering out a deal on the national debt ceiling could benefit from the experience of negotiators.
Professional negotiators know that certain tactics can backfire in tense situations. Issuing ultimatums, publicly criticizing your counterpart, … Read More
Video of Professor Mnookin’s Interview on PBS
PON Chair, Professor Robert Mnookin was featured last night on the PBS NewsHour. He discusses the art of doing difficult negotiations during tough economic times.
To learn more about Professor Mnookin’s recent book, “Bargaining with the Devil: When to Negotiate, When to Fight,” click here.
To watch more PON videos, click here.
… Read Video of Professor Mnookin’s Interview on PBS
Program on Negotiation saddened by the loss of 2007 Great Negotiator, Bruce Wasserstein
The Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School was saddened to learn of the death of Bruce Wasserstein, PON’s 2007 Great Negotiator. The Great Negotiator Award is given to recognize an individual whose lifetime achievements in the field of negotiation and dispute resolution have had a significant and lasting impact. Wasserstein, Chairman and CEO of … Read More
Facilitating within a Group Structure
Consider the dilemma faced by Joe, the vice president of semiconductor technology at one of the largest computer companies in the world. He is also the chair of an alliance made up of representatives from six other large companies. The group works together to develop and acquire certain production technologies. The group also second-guesses every … Read Facilitating within a Group Structure