difficult conversation

A framework for describing how to apply interest-based negotiation techniques to conversations and dilemmas in daily life. According to this framework, underlying every difficult conversation are actually three deeper conversations. (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen, Difficult Conversations [Viking/Penguin, 1999], 7). These three conversations are 1) The “What Happened?” Conversation, 2) the Feelings Conversation, 3) and the Identity Conversation. The first conversation deals with the actual events that led to the situation being discussed, while the second and third conversations explore the impact these events have had.

Discover how to collaborate, negotiate, and bargain with even the most combative opponents with, Dealing with Difficult People, a FREE report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.

The following items are tagged difficult conversation.

Daily

Salary Negotiation Skills Different for Men and Women

Posted by & filed under Business Negotiations.

Most negotiators will never engage in the kinds of high-stakes bargaining we read about in publications such as The Wall Street Journal and The Financial Times, but almost every negotiator will encounter the dreaded salary negotiation during the course of her career, a scenario that is, in many ways, the definition of a “difficult conversation.” We … Read More 

Courses and Training

Practical Lessons from the Great Negotiators

Posted by & filed under 1 Day Courses, executive training.

How did Bruce Wasserstein, former Chairman and CEO of Lazard and one of the most successful dealmakers of all time, negotiate more than a thousand transactions worth hundreds of billions of dollars? How did artists Christo and Jean-Claude overcome the objections of four mayors, as well as numerous boards and New York City residents, to pull … Read More 

Product

Daily

Conflict Resolution Lessons from the Home: How Conflict Management Skills Transform Discord Into Harmony

Posted by & filed under Conflict Resolution.

Every day diplomacy, such as resolving conflicts between family members, can inform negotiation strategies and negotiation techniques employed at the bargaining table. In this article, Bruce Feiler’s New York Times’ article “Lessons in Life Diplomacy” is examined from the perspective of broader dispute resolution and conflict management strategies. … Read More 

Courses and Training

Difficult Conversations

Posted by & filed under 1 Day Courses, executive training.

We all have conversations we anticipate with dread, because they may determine our fate and we don’t know how to make them succeed. Whether it’s trying to keep a customer happy without eroding your profit margin, address unacceptable behavior successfully without losing a high performer, close a critical acquisition without overpaying, or gain alignment on … Read More 

Product

Negotiation Pedagogy Video Series, Part III

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Sheila Heen and Melissa Manwaring An unscripted video showing an experienced negotiation instructor running and debriefing the “Oil Pricing” exercise, interspersed with excerpts from a post-workshop interview with the instructor … Read More 

Daily

Courses and Training

Negotiation Workshop: Improving Your Negotiating Effectiveness

Posted by & filed under Harvard Negotiation Institute, Harvard Negotiation Institute (5 Day Courses).

Too many negotiators leave value on the table. They painfully divide a small pie after a costly battle while failing to capture offsetting opportunities for joint gain, or win the battle, but at the cost to relationships and reputation that limit long-term value. Reliably negotiating optimal outcomes requires a keen appreciation of the negotiation process, … Read More 

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Daily

Conflict Management at the Office

Posted by & filed under Conflict Resolution.

Are you too eager to please? A desire to get along with others may be preventing you from addressing conflict in your workplace – and preventing you from advancing, writes Joann S. Lublin in a recent Wall Street Journal article. Increasingly, employers are hiring and promoting leaders who are skilled at coping with conflict rather than … Read More 

Courses and Training

Advanced Negotiation Workshop: Making Difficult Conversations Productive

Posted by & filed under Harvard Negotiation Institute, Harvard Negotiation Institute (5 Day Courses).

When negotiations become difficult, emotions often escalate and talks break down. To overcome barriers and turn negotiations from difficult to collaborative, from breakdown to breakthrough, you must learn to understand the inter- and intra-personal dynamics at play. In this program, you will examine how your own assumptions and behaviors can help create and perpetuate negotiation … Read More 

Product

Daily

Negotiation Skills: Giving Feedback. Who Needs It? It Might Be You

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

A Q&A with Sheila Heen, co-author (with Douglas Stone) of the new book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. We recently interviewed Sheila Heen, lecturer at Harvard Law School, PON Faculty member, and Partner at Triad Consulting Group, about her new book with Douglas Stone, Thanks for the Feedback: The … Read More 

Courses and Training

Negotiation and Leadership: Dealing with Difficult People and Problems

Posted by & filed under Executive Education Seminars (3 Day Courses), executive training.

It’s often said that great leaders are great negotiators. But how does one become an effective negotiator? On-the-job experience certainly plays a role, but for most executives, taking their negotiation skills to the next level requires outside training. Designed to accelerate your negotiation capabilities, Negotiation and Leadership examines core decision-making challenges, analyzes complex negotiation scenarios, … Read More 

Product

Difficult Conversations How to Discuss What Matters Most

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Whether we’re dealing with an under-performing employee, disagreeing with our spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying, “no,” or “I’m sorry,” or “I love you,” we attempt to avoid difficult conversations every day. No matter how competent we are, we all have conversations that cause anxiety and frustration. This book … Read More 

Daily

Think Like a Mediator

Posted by & filed under Mediation.

To set the stage for a productive discussion, open a difficult conversation with the Third Story, advise the authors of Difficult Conversations. The Third Story is one an impartial observer, such as a mediator, would tell; it’s a version of events both sides can agree on. “The key is learning to describe the gap – … Read More 

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Phoenix, The

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Sheila Heen and Michael Moffitt, based on a case by Doug Stone Two-party negotiation between the director of a county tutoring program and a tutor regarding pay, work conditions, and job performance; ethnic differences are an issue … Read More 

Daily

Clearinghouse Customers Speak!

Posted by & filed under Daily, Negotiation Skills, Pedagogy at the Program on Negotiation (Pedagogy @ PON).

In an effort to understand more about how the PON Clearinghouse does and doesn’t meet its customers’ needs, we interviewed a number of long-time Clearinghouse clients. We asked what teaching materials they found most valuable and for what reasons. We also asked how they found out about the Clearinghouse and what additional teaching and training … Read More 

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Casino

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Sheila Heen, Scott Peppet and John Richardson Two-party intra-organizational discussion between a newly-promoted manager and her division vice-president over work performance, responsibility for a new computer game project, and office environment issues … Read More 

Daily

Telling the Third Story

Posted by & filed under Conflict Resolution.

Adapted from “How to Say What Matters Most,” by Susan Hackley (managing director, Program on Negotiation), first published in the Negotiation newsletter. In their book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Penguin Putnam, 2000), authors Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen tell us how to engage in the conversations in our professional or … Read More 

Opening students up to negotiation

Posted by & filed under Negotiation Skills.

Working It Out is a 27-page handbook designed to introduce high school students to problem-solving, interest-based negotiation. Written by Getting to YES co-author Roger Fisher and Difficult Conversations co-author Douglas Stone, Working It Out presents core concepts from both books in a clear, simple format with plenty of age-appropriate examples from family, school, workplace and … Read More 

Harvard Negotiation Institute Begins!

Posted by & filed under Daily.

On the morning of June 8, 2009, hundreds of participants from around the world began their week-long intensive Basic Negotiation Workshop and Mediation Workshop.  Participants will engage with instructors Bruce Patton and Frank Sander for five days of interactive study.  There are still seats available in our 2-Day Intensive  Basic Negotiation course, which begins Thursday, … Read More