Communication

Working Assumption: Each party to a negotiation gains by creating and maintaining clear two-way communication.

1. Problem: Negotiations are often plagued by misunderstanding. During a negotiation, communication often resembles the sending of smoke signals in a high wind. Difficulties with communicating pose a serious problem, since communication is the lifeblood of negotiations. Just as blood clots block circulation and cause heart attacks, poor communication blocks progress and ruptures negotiations and relationships.

2. Cause: When we communicate, we focus on telling them what we think. We tend to focus on what we think we are saying rather than what the other party hears. The other party may not hear our message as we intend it, and we may not hear theirs.

3. Approach: Aim for two-way communication. Two-way communication means that both parties are listening as well as speaking. No message is truly communicated until it is heard and understood. Listening is among the most powerful things a negotiator can do. Listening provides information about interests, options, the relationship and areas for possible commitment. It demonstrates to others that we believe their views are worthy of careful consideration. If we can demonstrate to the other party that we have understood their views, it will be easier for them to listen to ours. Listening to and understanding the other side's point of view also enhances our ability to communicate with them in terms they will not misinterpret. Consequently, our proposals are likely to be more persuasive.

4. Consider these guidelines:

a) Communicate regardless of disagreement.

b) Listen actively, and demonstrate to them that you hear what they are saying. Pay close attention to what the other party is saying to be sure we have accurately understood their point of view. Demonstrate to them that we have listened and taken their views seriously by inquiring, pressing them to clarify any ambiguities, and paraphrasing what you have heard to ensure that we have understood them correctly. Be clear that by acknowledging their point of view, we are not necessarily agreeing with it.

c) Focus on what they will hear. Try to put yourself in the other side's shoes in order to develop an empathetic understanding of their point of view. Formulate communications in light of how those perceptions will affect their interpretation of what you say.

d) Consider consulting before deciding. Even if they are not listening to you, consider informing others and asking for their advice before making decisions on issues that might significantly affect them. Model two-way communication while retaining full authority to make a decision.

e) Design communication channels carefully. Clarify which channels of communication will be used for which purposes; avoid using multiple channels for the same purpose (e.g., decision-making). Also, avoid addressing multiple audiences. Consider using private channels for one-on-one problem-solving.

f) Speak for yourself, not them. Talk about what you have observed or felt. Avoid attributing motives to the other side, or telling them why they think or said.