Common Assumptions about Roommate Conflict

I'm the only person with a roommate conflict (besides my roommates).
Roommate conflict is common at Harvard. In a random survey we conducted of fifty undergrads, nearly half reported having roommate conflict at some point during their college years. That number probably underestimates the prevalence of roommate conflict because seniors reported the most conflict and freshman the least (i.e. freshmen haven't encountered all of the conflict they're going to). So if you're having roommate conflict, count yourself among at least couple thousand other students on campus.

There's something wrong with me if I'm having roommate problems.
Conflict is inherently tough to deal with. Even the most skilled mediators and negotiators have conflict. Conflict has little to do with the people involved and more to do with people's differing preferences and needs that are hard to accommodate simultaneously. There's only one single in your suite. You like to keep your room clean, while your roommate is content to let it slide.

Getting help is a sign of weakness.
Escalated conflict, no matter who is involved, can always use a fresh set of eyes. That's why international and labor negotiations often make use of mediators. Conflict can be so emotional and complex that it can be incredibly difficult to take a step back and dig yourself out of the situation. Our mediators are not trained to judge you or to offer solutions because we assume that only you have enough information to know what works best for you. Our mediators are, however, trained to think about conflict systematically and to help you do so as well.