Adapted from “Break Through the Tough Talk” by Kristina A. Diekmann and Ann E. Tenbrunsel.
When you expect people to be competitive, it’s not only your own behavior that changes.
You also set up a self-fulfilling prophecy, such that your expectations about the other side’s behavior lead him to behave in ways that confirm your expectations.
In a classic 1960s demonstration of the power of expectations to create reality, Harvard psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson administered a test to a group of elementary school children that assessed the children’s general intellectual ability.
The researchers told the kids’ teachers that the test could identify “late bloomers” – children who were about to show a substantial leap forward in intellectual development. In fact, nothing distinguished the “late bloomers” from the other children.
- Apparently, the teachers’ high expectations led them to show greater attention and encouragement to the late bloomers, who became more energized and worked harder.
In a negotiation study, a similar self-fulfilling prophecy emerged. Relative to negotiators who expected less competitive opponents, those who expected their opponents to be competitive (though these expectations were not based on reality) reduced their own demands and achieved worse outcomes, thereby allowing their opponent to claim more value and become more competitive.
By reducing their demands in the face of expected competition, negotiators created a reality that was not only self-fulfilling but also self-defeating.
Furthermore, after talks ended, these negotiators’ opponents altered their self-perceptions; they came to view themselves as more competitive than did negotiators who were not expected to be competitive.
Your expectations of a seemingly competitive buyer may lead you to lower your reservation price unnecessarily and reduce your expectations, generating worse outcomes for you and better outcomes for your opponent.
The bad news doesn’t end there.
The buyer may now view himself as a competitive negotiator, confirming your initial, if erroneous, belief.
Your future talks will likely be with a competitive negotiator – one of your own making.
Learn how to negotiate like a diplomat, think on your feet like an improv performer, and master job offer negotiation like a professional athlete when you download a FREE copy of Improve Your Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Training from the Pros.
